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Con Is Upon Us [23 May 2016|04:32pm]
WisCon is just a few days away now, so amidst packing and getting my panel notes together, I thought I should do my annual “about me” post:

1. My badge and booklet name me as Rosemary / sophy(gurl) reflecting both my first name and the handle(s) I go by online. You may call me either one and I’ll respond. I’m also okay with mixing rl and online identities, so it’s okay if you call me Rosemary online or sophy in person, etc.

2. I have mild prosopagnosia (facial blindness) and also my memory has gone to crap between my health conditions and the meds I use to combat them - so I very likely will forget your name or other pertinent info at some point, even if we’ve met multiple times before and we’ve been social media friends for ages, and I will also very likely have to look at your name badge a lot to remind me how your physical appearance matches up with who you are. It’s not you - it’s me.

3. I have a plethora of health issues which keep me fairly well homebound most of the time. WisCon is one of those rare times when I push myself super hard to be as social and active as possible because it’s necessary for my mind and soul. But I need lots of breaks, and will be sitting down any chance I get. In fact, I’ve decided not to leave the hotel at all this year, so if you wanna do meals or drinks with me at all - plan to to do it in-hotel. I also tend to skip big crowd events like GoH speeches and parties and stuff, so come socialize with me in smaller groups please!

4.I use female pronouns, and ID as a cis genderqueer woman. I won’t be at all offended if you use gender neutral pronouns for me, tho.

5. I like touch (hugging, rubbing my shaved head, etc.) but it’s a good idea to ask first.

Panels I’m on:

* When Villains Are Our Only Representation (or how I learned to stop worrying and love the baddie) on Friday at 2:30–3:45 pm in University B

* Body Positivity and the Disabled Body on Friday at 4:00–5:15 pm in University B

*Critiquing Bootstraps, Positive Thinking, Diet and Exercise on Friday at 10:30–11:45 pm in University B (moderating this one)

* There Is No Aging Out Of Fandom on Sunday at 1:00–2:15 pm in University C

* Women Loving Women on TV on Monday at 10:00–11:15 am in University C
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TV Stuffs [23 Mar 2016|06:39pm]
I'm just gonna copy and paste this from my tumblr....

1. I am no good at doing things on any kind of regular basis. My chronic health issues being what they are, I just never know when I’m going to be up to doing a thing and when I’m not. It’s very hard to plan. So then my OCD gets worked up, and I go through periods of time of being very rigidly scheduled and regular about things when able to - to being totally wrapped up in just one or two things and letting everything else fall by the wayside. So anyway, that’s why I’m sometimes on tumblr nonstop for days and then disappear for a few days, etc.
It’s also why I’ve decided to drop my sideblog for reccing stuff. I’m going to go back to just doing any recs I have right here mixed in with all my other junk, and using the tag “sophy recs stuff”.

2. I’ve once again updated my shows I watch page if anyone is curious where my TV habits are leading me these days in a complete view: http://sophygurl.tumblr.com/tvshows

3. Here are some new shows that will be premiering soon that I’m considering watching:
The Catch - premieres tomorrow, March 24th, on ABC. I’m a little confused about why Shonda Rhimes is doing such a white hetero show with a male and female co-lead. I keep wondering where all the poc and queer folk are at, but it still looks good, so I’ll still definitely check it out.

Wynonna Earp - premieres on April 1st on Syfy. Wyatt Earp’s descendant fights supernatural forces?? Yea, I’ll watch that.

Game of Silence - premieres on April 7th on NBC. It’s a thriller about a group of childhood friends who have a dark secret. David Lyons and Michael Raymond-James are among the stars who caught my interest enough to decide to give it a shot. Plus, I love a good thriller.

Hunters - premieres on April 11th on Syfy. It’s a crime/supernatural drama directed by TWD’s Gale Anne Hurd. That’s enough for me. I’ve been really enjoying Syfy’s new resurgence of solid syfy/fantasy programming lately, so hopefully this and Earp will give good showings too.

The Last Panthers - premieres on April 13th on Sundance. It’s a heist/crime drama, which is enough to get me to tune in.

Containment - premieres on April 19th on The CW. The story is about a group of people who are stuck in quarantine together during a contagion of some sort. David Nutter directs and Julie Plec writes for this limited series. Starring are Trever St. John, Claudia Black, and Chris Wood, among others.

Houdini & Doyle - premieres on May 2nd on FOX. This is a fictional joining of historical figures Harry Houdini and Arthur Conan Doyle to solve crimes together. Stephen Magnun and Michael Weston co-star. I mean. I honestly don’t know about this one, but we’ll see.

4. Here are some returning shows starting back soon that I’m super stoked about:

Empire - March 30th
Banshee - April 1st
Outlander - April 9th
Fear the Walking Dead - April 10th
House of Lies - April 10th
Orphan Black - April 14th
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - April 15th
12 Monkeys - April 18th

5. Some currently airing shows that I’m MOST excited about and into and want to rec to you fine folks include:

Blindspot - on NBC continues to make me question and wonder, which is a great thing.

Dancing With the Stars - on ABC of course, this show continues to keep me obsessed and wanting more. (I’m a lil disappointed that Len is back tho???)

The Family - on ABC, this is a new thriller with a great cast that’s pretty intriguing so far about a family that lost their young son/brother 10 years ago. He mysteriously returns to them… but it’s not entirely clear if it’s really him. Trigger warnings for child abuse, of course, as well as for substance abuse.

Limitless - on CBS. I started this as a casual watch, but I’m getting more and more invested in Brian Finch and his drama. The show is put together well, with a lot of humor, and enough heart to keep it endearing. The Ferris Bueller episode is still my favorite. Also the one where he sends Mike and Ike off on separate missions.

Lucifer - on FOX. Tom Ellis is doing a fantastic job as Lucifer Morningstar in this comic-based show about Lucifer taking a vacation in L.A. and learning all about humanity. Laura German (who I miss deeply as Leslie Shay in Chicago Fire) plays opposite him as a police detective who he’s decided to partner with in solving crimes. For some reason, she is immune to his tricks and temptations (and her young daughter adores him), and finds herself often irritated and occasionally amused by him - never believing what he says about himself being the actual devil. Kevin Alejandro plays her ex, also a detective. Lesley-Ann Brandt plays Mazikeen, a demon who followed Lucifer out of hell and, while bound to protect him, is angry with his forays into humanity and just wants them both to get back where they belong. D. B. Woodside plays Amenadiel, an angel who is desperate to get Lucifer back to hell. And hilarious Rachel Harris plays the therapist that Lucifer has chosen to have sessions with - his temptations have worked on her, but she does her best to give him insights into his psyche anyway. It’s a fun little show that is starting to gain more and more emotional depth as it goes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. - on ABC - I mean holy wow how sad was that scene in the bar in Parting Shots u guys?

Outsiders - on WGN. You guys, I cannot say enough about this show. It’s amazing. It’s ridiculously engaging and riveting and I am thoroughly obsessed with it. It’s about a large clan, The Farrells, who live on a mountain in the Appalachians, the townsfolk down below, and the large coal company trying to evict The Farrells. Yes, it’s ripe with some stereotypes of the area, but The Farrell family are not supposed to be true-to-life, as evidenced by the slightly supernatural element of the leadership of the community (the show is unclear yet how much of this is supernatural and how much superstition but they are hinting hard that there is more going on than we can see so far). Let me just say this - if you liked Sons of Anarchy, or Justified, or Banshee - you should tune in to this interesting new drama.

Sleepy Hollow - on FOX, feels like it’s finally coming back into it’s stride a bit more. Ichabbie better be coming soon.

The Walking Dead - on AMC, and which just continues to get more and more intense and scary. I’m Team Family, and Team Richonne all the way.

You, Me, and the Apocalypse - on NBC. This hour long comedy about an asteroid hitting earth while a diverse group of people who somehow all end up together in a bunker for the end are running around trying to accomplish certain things before the asteroid hits is pretty good. There’s Rob Lowe as a priest in love with the nun sent to help him find the new Messiah, there’s Jenna Fischer and Megan Mullally as escaped prisoners on the run together, there’s a general and his (secret) boyfriend genius who are in charge of coming up with plans to try and save the earth, and there’s Karla Crome who has been married to both men of a set of twins - one evil and one good - and whose daughter just might be the Messiah the church are looking for. They’re all tangled up together in both hilarious and touching ways, and I can’t wait to see how it ends (pun intended).
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stuff about me [16 Mar 2016|09:12pm]
So let's see.

Still enjoying the cats, and they seem to feel fully comfy with this as their home and us as their people (although Sheldon still runs away a lot as if he's scared he was doing something wrong and we're gonna yell at him, hopefully as we continue NOT to yell at him, he'll calm down eventually). Sheldon is still more attached to Dave, and Shisky to me, but they're slowly working up to being closer to both of us in their own ways. If I bend down and ask for kisses, Sheldon will touch noses with me which is adorbs. He also likes for me to chase him, so he'll do this funny run a little and look behind him thing to get me to do it. Shisky comes up to knead and nuzzle on me while I'm reading or watching TV, and he likes to sleep on my feet which I love. They think my primary function is to play with them and they will sit in the living room next to their toys and look up at expectantly several times a day, and of course I oblige them - how can I not? Their relationship with each other is funny, too. They go back and forth between loving grooming and vicious wrestling, and they are constantly sticking their noses in each other's butts. SMH. Cats, man.

Been going to various doctors for this constant nausea I've been dealing with for a couple of years now. It's just not going away and seems to be getting worse, even. I went through this seriously uncomfortable gastric emptying study last week, but haven't heard anything about results yet.

I finished the Outlander book series - just the regular books - 8 very large tomes. Now I'm starting in on the smaller John gray series that goes along with it, and the other little novellas and things attached to the series. I'm almost all caught up on Patricia Brigg's Mercyverse, just have a short story and graphic novel and then her newest book that just came out yet to go. And I've just started Robin Hobb's Farseer trilogy.

Saw Deadpool yesterday - it was hilarious. I was a bit worried about the 60ish yo man and woman sitting next to me in the theater - like, did they know what this movie was, would they be offended by all the dirty jokes and gratuitous violence? But they were laughing along with everyone else, which just made the experience all that much better. Next movie I'll likely make it to the theater for will be Captain America: Civil War.

TV shows I'm especially into right now include The Walking Dead, How to Get Away with Murder, and Outsiders. That's just a very tiny sampling.

aaaand that's all I've got.
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Package Mystery [25 Feb 2016|07:17pm]
We have now gotten four separate packages from Amazon. Addressed to our cats. Full of toys for them. With no name attached. We have no idea who sent them to us! If it was you, can you lemme know? We're very curious and would like to thank you!!
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New Kitties [05 Feb 2016|08:15pm]
Today, we brought home our new family members - 3 year old feline brothers Sheldon (white with black spots) and Shisky (black with white spots). They are currently sniffing over every inch of the apartment doing that adorable bobbing up and down thing that cats in new spaces do. They've let us pet them a little bit, but are mostly still pretty skittish of us. We know they get along well generally, but the stress has had them a lil cranky with each other - I figure they'll sort out their territorial issues in time (who gets to be more dominant in which room, etc.). Sheldon - the more outgoing one - is up on the sofa with me now but sitting way on the far end looking around the room.

We bought a basic package of stuff for them at the shelter, but plan to go out this weekend to get some more things - a larger scratching post with different levels for them to hang out in, a nice big covered litter box, some more toys, etc. We'll also call our vet to set up an appointment - the shelter does a good job of looking them over, but they're both getting over a a lil respiratory infection (I think most of the cats had it, prolly going around) and Shisky had some dental work done that will need a check-in.

I'm feeling pretty happy that they're here - feels like the right thing. Can't wait to find out more about their personalities and quirks and stuff. Hope they're happy to be home and start to feel safe soon!
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2016 [15 Jan 2016|07:27pm]
IDK when I became one of those people who abandoned LJ only to come in every few months to remark upon how I never come here anymore, but it's happened and that's that I guess.

I do still want to retain some connection here, though, so I'm grateful as many of you who are still around and posting are still here and allowing me to read your posts!

What I've been up to lately, let's see...

Been missing my cats tons, still. This grief stuff is hard. My mom and step-dad got me a little cabinet for Christmas to make a memorial with. Inside are her ashes and clay paw prints, as well as her food dish, brush, some of her favorite toys, and a few other mementos. My step-sister gave me this beautiful velvet bookmark with a locket attached to it for Christmas and she had thoughtfully put pics of Cleo inside, so that rests on top of the cabinet, and my bestest had once gotten me a plaque of one of those Willow angel things of a woman holding a cat and I have that set up against the cabinet - which rests on top of one of my bookshelves. It's right near the sofa where I spend most of my time, so I can look up and see it whenever.

I've been working on a plan to give the apartment a once-over deep clean and I'm getting towards the end of it - just need to finish up in the bathroom and then vacuum the carpeted areas of the floors and do a little straightening/organizing. Then, we just need to get new cat things (litter box, food and water dishes, scratching post, etc.) and start visiting shelters to meet our new cat. Hoping to get this all done by the end of the month so I'll have a ball of fluff to care for during the rough month of February.

Had lovely holidays with the family. Got to spend some time with my nieces, which was great because I hadn't seen them much this past year. The older niece, who will be ten next month, now has her own ipod and has started emailing me. Yesterday, she emailed to ask if I had skype - so I quickly set up an account and skyped for the first time! We spent an hour chatting last night and another hour today, plus another small conversation after that. Younger niece, who turned five in November, kept popping her head in to say hi and show me stuff (mostly toys, sometimes just random household objects). I'm loving this new development, as it feels like getting to be there with them and I hope we keep doing it. :)

I had awhile this year where my other various obsessions (Sims and TV mostly) plus the distraction of caring for Cleo in her last days and of course the grieving that set in after she was gone kept me from reading as much as I usually do. But recently, I finally started reading the Mercy Thompson series that my friend has been urging me to try, and that sparked me back into reading. I've read the first five books of that already, as well as getting back into some other series I'm in the middle of. So that's been nice.

Still watching gobs and gobs of TV. My idea of having a rec blog on tumblr has not worked out so well, however. I just can't seem to keep up with anything that expects me to be regular about it, so I've gone back to just occasionally reccing things the regular way on my regular tumblr. Oh well.

I got a new TV - it's a Roku TV, so it comes with all the streaming services, meaning I can now watch Netflix and Amazon shows on the big screen and if I download something on the laptop, I can stream it to the TV and when Big Brother season comes back around this summer, I'll be able to put the live feeds up there too. Been having fun with that!

Roomies are still great. Dave bought a new game a couple months back, Splendor, and we got on a kick of playing that a lot at first because ... yea, I have an obsessive personality and when I try something I like, I like to do it over and over again. heh

Oh! Saw Star Wars. Loved it. Want to see it in theaters again, but not sure - both money and energy is tight right now.

And that's pretty much my life. How are all of you? (I did take a quick look down my flist so I've seen generally what's up with those of you who've been posting - hi and sorry I'm so crap at staying in touch! It's part of my new year's resolution to do better at that btw.)
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more on cleo [10 Sep 2015|04:03pm]
I'm still adjusting to life without Cleo. I've gotten where I'm mostly good during the day but bedtime is still very difficult. We had a lot of routine around bedtime and frankly sleeping with my cat was a big help to my insomnia, so not having her fur to smoosh my face into and her body to hold and sleepily pet as I fall asleep is just on a physical level making it harder for me to sleep. Add in all of the emotions involved in it and some nights I start to panic when it becomes time for bed. One of my coping tools is playing old movies in the little TV/VCR in my room - the noise and light give me a sense of company and it's a difference in routine than usual. Also I can convince myself I'm just watching a movie - not trying to fall asleep. (I did this for quite awhile after the breakup with Dave too, and it helped then as well) Another thing I do is sometimes pretend she's still there - not super literally - but I'll follow through with some of the rituals and routines of things I'd say to her and giving the pillow she used to sleep on kisses, etc. It probably seems kind of pathetic, but whatever. It's comforting.

We got her ashes in a little wooden box with her nameplate on them, along with her little pawprints in clay from the vet. Dave had taken some of the fur they'd shaved off of her for the injection that last day and we have that in a little baggie on the shelf with the ashes and prints. The plan is to eventually make a shadowbox with that stuff, some of her favorite toys, and maybe her food dish (it's the same dish she's had since the first day she came into my life over 16 years ago).

I still need to make arrangements to donate the litter and food that's unopened and some of the toys that don't have lots of memories attached but are in good condition. I'll call around to shelters whenever I get the mental and emotional energy up for that. We'll probably toss the scratching posts and obviously the litter box.

I know some people keep their things to use with the next pet, but I just can't do that. When and if we get a new kitty, I'll buy new things for him or her. Cleo's stuff is either getting memorialized in some way or given/tossed away. I just can't do it any other way.

I've had a local friend suggest me as a possible answer for her sister who has two cats that need a new home, but I'm just not feeling ready for that yet. Cleo was more than just a pet - more than just a family member - she was one of my best friends, my baby, my soulmate, my constant companion in this homebound life, and the cuddliest snuggliest most physically and emotionally present cat I've ever known in my life. My entire day was structured around her and I'm still having moments of forgetting she isn't here and having to stop and remind myself that she won't be in the bedroom when I go in there or she won't be trotting out when I make food, etc. Any cat that came into my life now would have all kinds of expectations laid on it that would be totally unfair. I need some time and space to grieve and adjust before I can open my life and heart back up again.

It's still my intention to sit down and write up all of the memories and funny personality quirks and things we've shared over the years, but I think I'm still in distraction mode too much to get myself to start it. Somehow memorializing her makes it more final, I think.

But I'm hanging in. Life is starting to feel more normal again. Just normal with a big gaping hole in the middle. heh
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hanging in [26 Aug 2015|12:52pm]
the grief is strong and hard, but so far it is not triggering depression or ptsd level stuff, which i was always scared might happen when i lost my cleo girl. thank you for the comments and good thoughts - i don't have the spoons for replying much rn but it's helpful to get support.
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[24 Aug 2015|09:21pm]
Cleo is gone.

I don't know what else to say rn. I will probably come back and write up a bunch of memories later. But for now, I'm mostly just crying and trying to get through it.
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more cat [23 Jul 2015|11:34pm]
Today has been stressful and exhausting and sad and terrifying. Cleo had a lil more energy today - which is a good sign! But it also meant her agitation about not being able to get around as much as she'd like was lots higher.

I'm just sort of perma-camped out in the bedroom with her (brought laptop, snacks, food and treats and water for her, etc.). She is kinda learning how to manage her directionals by pivoting with the slightly better hind leg, but it takes a LOT out of her and that combined with the frustration she feels about it is wearing her out - meaning she is working that faulty heart even more.

So I try to bring her food and water to her and help her on and off the bed, around the apartment when she gets the gumption to take a lil walk, etc. And since I never know when she is going to need/wants these things, I'm on kind of 24/7 care duty.

Shayla came over tonight and did "respite care" for me while I took a lil me-time and Dave has done similar for smaller bits of time. The weekend will be easier since both roomies and Shay will be here.

This is all taking a lot out of me, but I'm also happy to have as much time with her as possible while I can. Been crying a lot, giving updates to the vet, Dave at work, etc. - and letting my Big Brother obsession distract me whenever I get some time to veg.

The pill shooter, btw, did not work - leaving all three of us exhausted and traumatized - so we're going to keep doing the crush the pills into soft foods (baby food, wet cat food, broths and soups, cans of chicken and tuna - whatever works - and we'll likely try them all as she gets bored and needs new flavors all the time) and just hope she gets more of the meds than less each time. I figure at thiz rate we'll land somewhere in the middle of the estimate (months if the meds work well regularly and days if we're not doing meds at all) and maybe get another week or so with her. Maybe. If her heart doesn't give out on us in the meantime or other related potential bad things happen.

Oh - and btw - kitty and I have to stop having these creepy E.T./Eliot moments - I snapped my right knee out of place this morning and have been hobbling about myself now! *rolling my eyes at the tricksters*
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cat [22 Jul 2015|04:16pm]
My cat has reached 20 and likely won't last much longer.

She has had kidney failure for quite some time and how has heart failure on top of it, along with degenerative discs in her back making her hind legs somewhat un-usable atm.

We'd stopped giving her the meds a couple months back because she was refusing them and it had become just a big stressor to both of us, but the vet's office today had a few new tips and tools to send home with us - along with some new meds to try and force down her.

If we can get her to take the meds without a lot of extra fuss and bother (thus causing her more stress and therefore sort of outweighing the good that the meds would do), they think she could last several more months - possibly even up to a year.

If not - then she's got a few days. She's currently doped on on the pain meds they gave her in the office today and is pretty miserable about how that in combination with her leg issues is making it difficult for her to get around on her own. I'm trying to help by sitting with her, walking with her when she does try to get up, and bringing food and water directly to her mouth as she's still lying down. Sadly, we did not get her to her litter box in time earlier and she had an accident on the bed. She never has those so she got really worked up, but I cleaned her up and assured it was okay and got her mostly calmed down before she could go into full-on panic mode.

Anyway - this is not going to be easy, even if the meds miraculously go well. So think good thoughts for us? This girl has been the center of my universe for the past 16 years and I can't stand to see her suffer, nor am I at all prepared to lose her. :(
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[13 Jul 2015|04:49pm]
Hi folks!

I'm deeply embroiled in my usual summer Big Brother obsession.

But I took a few moments today to set up a new tumblr blog called sophy recs stuff where I'm going to start putting my big TV posts like I used to do here. I'll try and remember to come here and link to them for those of you who appreciated such posts and don't do the tumblr thing.

I'm also offering to do personal show recs for anyone, so feel free to drop by and ask for one.


I've put up two posts about new summer shows so far - currently airing and yet to premiere. Come over and check them out if you wanna know what I'm watching this summer. :)
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WisCon 39 masterpost of links [04 Jun 2015|03:00pm]
All my WisCon writeup posts all in one handy place for linkage.

how I do social media

WisCon panel - Manic Pixies, Magical Negroes, and Other Iconic Harmful Tropes

WisCon panel - Misandry, Reverse Racism, and Other Imaginary Creatures

WisCon panel - Death to Love Triangles

WisCon panel - What Science Knows About Sex and Gender (And What it Doesn't)

WisCon panel - The Future Gender: Beyond the Binary

WisCon panel - How Do You Recommend Problematic Things?

WisCon panel - Internet Memes as Collaborative Microfiction

WisCon panels I was on and other random thoughts - includes Disability and the Starship, Fandom Creators and the Space In-Between, Intersectional Body Positivity, and Why is this Character White? Why Are they Straight?

more WisCon notes - includes thoughts on the trans/genderqueer safer space
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more WisCon notes [04 Jun 2015|02:22pm]
Random WisCon thoughts and ramblings

I spent a short bit of time one evening and a longer bit of time another evening up in the Trans/Genderqueer Safer SpaceCollapse )

Other thoughts...

Cat stuff: yes, I had to leave the con Sunday night because my elderly cat was acting funny and I just felt better being there just in case. So I missed some parties that I was probably too exhausted to go to anyway and also the Voyager panel on Monday which I really was looking forward to and also the closure of getting to say goodbye to everyone. :(

Injuries: I hurt my foot again this year. this year it was during the day b4 the dance party, so I still missed the dance party. what happened was - I kept kicking my stupid walker in the exact same place on my foot. so the thing that was supposed to be helping with my mobility ended up injuring me and making me less mobile. I still have a killer bruise spread out over that foot and I think probably one of my toes is broken, but with the levels of pain I maintain on a daily basis - I'm not really noticing it that much??

All the things/people: had some awesome convos up in my room with folks who were willing to come to me, as well as in the lobby, as well as in the hot tub! my fibro was dragging me down more this year than in year's past so I didn't make it to as many panels as usual and didn't go to any parties and didn't even do a lot of just chilling in public spaces looking for ppl to chat with. which was okay. I missed doing all the things, but you never really can do ALL the things anyway.

Extroversion: I feel for my introvert friends who kinda brave the con and then have to do a lot of recovery afterwards. I am sooooo the opposite. I'm such an extrovert but spend a large part of my life isolated so I get to WisCon and it's like "wheeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!people!!!!!!!!!!1wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And it does take it out of me *physically* but it totally charges me up emotionally and mentally. I don't come home feeling like I need some alone time at ALL. I come home feeling very sad that my entire life isn't spent surrounded by hundreds of people and that I have to wait a whole year to do this again.

Imposter: still noting the trend of feeling more confident and less imposter syndrome-y every year.

This year specifically: I'm still really just awed and inspired by everyone who made this year's con happen. really any year. but this year specifically. because we had some serious internal issues to sort through this year. and the fact that so many people stepped up to fill in gaps and take over roles and just GOT SHIT DONE - was really impressive. and especially those people who went to the con-specific panels and dug in and had the difficult conversations - just - kudos to you all! I'm so grateful that this is still a place I can go and do my thing and learn the stuff I'm learning and squee about the stuff that makes me squee and get to know and appreciate and enjoy the company of the kinds of people who also come and just. thank you Wis-Con. thank you to the co-chairs, the concom, SF3, all the volunteers, and the whole damn lot of you. Thank you for always trying to do better and be better.
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WisCon panels I was on and other random thoughts [04 Jun 2015|02:14pm]
I have fewer notes for the panels I was on, because I don't take notes while I'm paneling/moderating, so all the disclaimers about stuff I missed and please add to these in the world - but here's a few sporratic things I remember about them and some thoughts I had about them.

The usual disclaimer notes...
1. I'm using the names of panelists as they are listed in the program book and will change/delete names if asked.

2. I won't name any audience member unless said audience member comes forward and asks to be credited for their words.

3. I'm using pronouns to the best of my knowledge - again, please correct if I got any wrong!

The first one was:
Disability and the StarshipCollapse )

Next up was my surprise panelist experience:Fandom, Creators and the Space In-BetweenCollapse )

This next panel was one I have to admit I found kind of frustrating, but also worthwhile in some ways.
Intersectional Body PositivityCollapse )

So anyway, I think there were really good things about the panel, but I definitely left it feeling kind of frustrated and anxious??

Which then led into my last panel-I-was-on for the weekend...

Why is this Character White? Why are they Straight?Collapse )

For ALL of these panels - please please please add any notes you might have, thoughts you had if you attended, any positive or negative feedback you have for me personally or the panel itself, etc. (Feel free to do so privately too - I always appreciate getting feedback so I can be better but know not everyone is comfortable giving it publicly).

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand that's all!

Some other random panel ideas I had throughout the con:
- From the Harmful Tropes panel - something about identifing with villains, why we do it, what that says about examples of ourselves we're given in the media, etc.
- Playing Pretend as early collaborative fanfic.
- Copyrights and Fandom?? (I don't have the expertise to even write such a panel up, but this came up at several different points over the weekend and there were certainly folks who were knowledgeable enough to talk about the topic!)
- Something about intersectionality of service industry - tipping, unions, etc.
- And as noted above, more specific panels about intersectional body positivity.

[Next up is my non-panel related con thoughts, and then my masterpost of links to all of these posts to be linked around]
6 comments|post comment

WisCon panel - Internet Memes as Collaborative Microfiction [02 Jun 2015|06:45pm]
1. I'm using the names of panelists as they are listed in the program book and will change/delete names if asked.

2. I won't name any audience member unless said audience member comes forward and asks to be credited for their words.

3. I'm human and make mistakes, only wrote down things that sparked my interest, was probably writing something down when something else cool was said... Please feel free to correct me, add info, etc.

4. I am not a professional transcriber, so a lot of this will be paraphrased. Again - please correct me if you said it yourself, or heard it better than I did! Thanks!

5. I'm using pronouns to the best of my knowledge - again, please correct if I got any wrong!

You guys - this was an awesome, hilarious panel. I loved it.

But, at this point in the con I was more than a little exhausted, in pain, and out of it. So between that and the general hilarity - my notes will be a bit scattered.

panel notes under hereCollapse )

This panel was so much more though and way funnier than my choppy notes can begin to describe. More thoughts on it later perhaps!
4 comments|post comment

WisCon panel - How Do You Recommend Problematic Things? [02 Jun 2015|05:25pm]
1. I'm using the names of panelists as they are listed in the program book and will change/delete names if asked.

2. I won't name any audience member unless said audience member comes forward and asks to be credited for their words.

3. I'm human and make mistakes, only wrote down things that sparked my interest, was probably writing something down when something else cool was said... Please feel free to correct me, add info, etc.

4. I am not a professional transcriber, so a lot of this will be paraphrased. Again - please correct me if you said it yourself, or heard it better than I did! Thanks!

5. I'm using pronouns to the best of my knowledge - again, please correct if I got any wrong!

panel notes under hereCollapse )
3 comments|post comment

WisCon panel - The Future of Gender: Beyond the Binary [02 Jun 2015|03:52pm]
1. I'm using the names of panelists as they are listed in the program book and will change/delete names if asked.

2. I won't name any audience member unless said audience member comes forward and asks to be credited for their words.

3. I'm human and make mistakes, only wrote down things that sparked my interest, was probably writing something down when something else cool was said... Please feel free to correct me, add info, etc.

4. I am not a professional transcriber, so a lot of this will be paraphrased. Again - please correct me if you said it yourself, or heard it better than I did! Thanks!

5. I'm using pronouns to the best of my knowledge - again, please correct if I got any wrong!

panel notes under hereCollapse )

Overall, an interesting panel that I'm really glad I went to!
16 comments|post comment

WisCon panel - What Science Knows About Sex and Gender (And What it Doesn't) [01 Jun 2015|05:09pm]
1. I'm using the names of panelists as they are listed in the program book and will change/delete names if asked.

2. I won't name any audience member unless said audience member comes forward and asks to be credited for their words.

3. I'm human and make mistakes, only wrote down things that sparked my interest, was probably writing something down when something else cool was said... Please feel free to correct me, add info, etc.

4. I am not a professional transcriber, so a lot of this will be paraphrased. Again - please correct me if you said it yourself, or heard it better than I did! Thanks!

5. I'm using pronouns to the best of my knowledge - again, please correct if I got any wrong!

For this panel specifically:
It was mt first panel in the morning and I was not very awake, I left for a few minutes part-way through to take a phone call, science is not something I understand very well so I spaced out a lot and didn't take very good notes, my handwriting is epically bad in this set of notes, and so there is just a lot that I can't decipher or grok enough to write up. Expect lots and lots of gaps and probably my having written down wrong things here and there. Sorry!!

panel notes under cutCollapse )

I'm sorry these notes are so crappy. The basic conclusion is that stuff is not very well understood by science yet, science means a lot of different things (different fields define things differently), and that there is a lot more to know about sex and gender beyond basic binary definitions!
5 comments|post comment

WisCon panel - Death to Love Triangles [01 Jun 2015|01:59pm]
General Panel Write-up Info:

1. I'm using the names of panelists as they are listed in the program book and will change/delete names if asked.

2. I won't name any audience member unless said audience member comes forward and asks to be credited for their words.

3. I'm human and make mistakes, only wrote down things that sparked my interest, was probably writing something down when something else cool was said... Please feel free to correct me, add info, etc.

4. I am not a professional transcriber, so a lot of this will be paraphrased. Again - please correct me if you said it yourself, or heard it better than I did! Thanks!

5. I'm using pronouns to the best of my knowledge - again, please correct if I got any wrong!

I was excited about this panel because I actually enjoy love triangles if they're done well but also see how they mostly are not done well, and just yay!

panel notes under hereCollapse )

I have a lot of thinky thoughts on this subject myself, especially in regards to THG because I really don't think the love triangle there was a main part of the story. I agree with Alaya about it being symbolic of the choices Katniss was making, but I don't think it can be simplified down to "choose Peeta for peace and Gale for war". I think a lot more went into both decisions and it wasn't Katniss choosing the guy because of the political decision or vice versa.

I know a lot of people criticize Mockingjay, especially the ending, as Collins refuting her own philosophy in the first two books, but I don't see it that way at all. I see the entire trilogy as being about Katniss navigating all of this confusing stuff and sorting things out for herself and, yes, changing her mind sometimes. And yea, in the end, there was a sense of sort of giving up, and realizing that she could only change so much and there's some cynicism there as far as how much can be changed. But a lot of that is just realistic growing up stuff?

And I don't see Katniss as making her political or her romantic decisions in tandem at all? They inform one another, but they're not equatable. In the end, she really isn't even choosing one over the other.

She makes some drastic political choices, and then also recedes back to her old life in a sort of state of denial about what is going to happen next. Because, frankly, she's had enough trauma already and is seriously burnt out and was used against her will so much that she deserves to get away from it all the end!

She decides she can't be with Gale - not simply because of what he did in the war and how that affected her personally - but because of her careful thoughts on their personalities and how they were too alike in some ways and how she needed to extricate herself from the political stage that he was choosing to become more engaged in.

And that didn't lead directly to her choosing Peeta? It wasn't like - oh, welp, me and Gale won't work so Peeta it is! Like, Katniss would have been perfectly fine being single or finding someone entirely different to be with as well? But Peeta was there, in the same sort of situation as her, and still comforting her and being what she needed, and so eventually, yes, she choose to be with him.

IDK okay, I just have a lot thoughts about this story in particular and how it really doesn't fit the love triangle tropes that everyone seems to think it does?!?!

And also just about love triangles in general and how I think they can often be done in really interesting ways and like - okay - basically what I hate is when the MARKETERS of a story use love triangle tropes to SELL a story that isn't that tropey??? (See: Veronica Mars). But the actual love triangles (and squares, and other shapes, etc.) that I've actually witnessed in my fiction have been interesting ad I've enjoyed them??? (See: The Vampire Diaries, Lost, a lot of the Buffyverse stuff, etc.).

(Can you tell this was a panel I really wanted to be on myself? lol)
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