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Rosemary

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hanging in [26 Aug 2015|12:52pm]
the grief is strong and hard, but so far it is not triggering depression or ptsd level stuff, which i was always scared might happen when i lost my cleo girl. thank you for the comments and good thoughts - i don't have the spoons for replying much rn but it's helpful to get support.
4 comments|post comment

[24 Aug 2015|09:21pm]
Cleo is gone.

I don't know what else to say rn. I will probably come back and write up a bunch of memories later. But for now, I'm mostly just crying and trying to get through it.
6 comments|post comment

more cat [23 Jul 2015|11:34pm]
Today has been stressful and exhausting and sad and terrifying. Cleo had a lil more energy today - which is a good sign! But it also meant her agitation about not being able to get around as much as she'd like was lots higher.

I'm just sort of perma-camped out in the bedroom with her (brought laptop, snacks, food and treats and water for her, etc.). She is kinda learning how to manage her directionals by pivoting with the slightly better hind leg, but it takes a LOT out of her and that combined with the frustration she feels about it is wearing her out - meaning she is working that faulty heart even more.

So I try to bring her food and water to her and help her on and off the bed, around the apartment when she gets the gumption to take a lil walk, etc. And since I never know when she is going to need/wants these things, I'm on kind of 24/7 care duty.

Shayla came over tonight and did "respite care" for me while I took a lil me-time and Dave has done similar for smaller bits of time. The weekend will be easier since both roomies and Shay will be here.

This is all taking a lot out of me, but I'm also happy to have as much time with her as possible while I can. Been crying a lot, giving updates to the vet, Dave at work, etc. - and letting my Big Brother obsession distract me whenever I get some time to veg.

The pill shooter, btw, did not work - leaving all three of us exhausted and traumatized - so we're going to keep doing the crush the pills into soft foods (baby food, wet cat food, broths and soups, cans of chicken and tuna - whatever works - and we'll likely try them all as she gets bored and needs new flavors all the time) and just hope she gets more of the meds than less each time. I figure at thiz rate we'll land somewhere in the middle of the estimate (months if the meds work well regularly and days if we're not doing meds at all) and maybe get another week or so with her. Maybe. If her heart doesn't give out on us in the meantime or other related potential bad things happen.

Oh - and btw - kitty and I have to stop having these creepy E.T./Eliot moments - I snapped my right knee out of place this morning and have been hobbling about myself now! *rolling my eyes at the tricksters*
5 comments|post comment

cat [22 Jul 2015|04:16pm]
My cat has reached 20 and likely won't last much longer.

She has had kidney failure for quite some time and how has heart failure on top of it, along with degenerative discs in her back making her hind legs somewhat un-usable atm.

We'd stopped giving her the meds a couple months back because she was refusing them and it had become just a big stressor to both of us, but the vet's office today had a few new tips and tools to send home with us - along with some new meds to try and force down her.

If we can get her to take the meds without a lot of extra fuss and bother (thus causing her more stress and therefore sort of outweighing the good that the meds would do), they think she could last several more months - possibly even up to a year.

If not - then she's got a few days. She's currently doped on on the pain meds they gave her in the office today and is pretty miserable about how that in combination with her leg issues is making it difficult for her to get around on her own. I'm trying to help by sitting with her, walking with her when she does try to get up, and bringing food and water directly to her mouth as she's still lying down. Sadly, we did not get her to her litter box in time earlier and she had an accident on the bed. She never has those so she got really worked up, but I cleaned her up and assured it was okay and got her mostly calmed down before she could go into full-on panic mode.

Anyway - this is not going to be easy, even if the meds miraculously go well. So think good thoughts for us? This girl has been the center of my universe for the past 16 years and I can't stand to see her suffer, nor am I at all prepared to lose her. :(
7 comments|post comment

[13 Jul 2015|04:49pm]
Hi folks!

I'm deeply embroiled in my usual summer Big Brother obsession.

But I took a few moments today to set up a new tumblr blog called sophy recs stuff where I'm going to start putting my big TV posts like I used to do here. I'll try and remember to come here and link to them for those of you who appreciated such posts and don't do the tumblr thing.

I'm also offering to do personal show recs for anyone, so feel free to drop by and ask for one.

http://sophyrecsstuff.tumblr.com/

I've put up two posts about new summer shows so far - currently airing and yet to premiere. Come over and check them out if you wanna know what I'm watching this summer. :)
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WisCon 39 masterpost of links [04 Jun 2015|03:00pm]
All my WisCon writeup posts all in one handy place for linkage.

how I do social media

WisCon panel - Manic Pixies, Magical Negroes, and Other Iconic Harmful Tropes

WisCon panel - Misandry, Reverse Racism, and Other Imaginary Creatures

WisCon panel - Death to Love Triangles

WisCon panel - What Science Knows About Sex and Gender (And What it Doesn't)

WisCon panel - The Future Gender: Beyond the Binary

WisCon panel - How Do You Recommend Problematic Things?

WisCon panel - Internet Memes as Collaborative Microfiction

WisCon panels I was on and other random thoughts - includes Disability and the Starship, Fandom Creators and the Space In-Between, Intersectional Body Positivity, and Why is this Character White? Why Are they Straight?

more WisCon notes - includes thoughts on the trans/genderqueer safer space
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more WisCon notes [04 Jun 2015|02:22pm]
Random WisCon thoughts and ramblings

I spent a short bit of time one evening and a longer bit of time another evening up in the Trans/Genderqueer Safer SpaceCollapse )

Other thoughts...

Cat stuff: yes, I had to leave the con Sunday night because my elderly cat was acting funny and I just felt better being there just in case. So I missed some parties that I was probably too exhausted to go to anyway and also the Voyager panel on Monday which I really was looking forward to and also the closure of getting to say goodbye to everyone. :(

Injuries: I hurt my foot again this year. this year it was during the day b4 the dance party, so I still missed the dance party. what happened was - I kept kicking my stupid walker in the exact same place on my foot. so the thing that was supposed to be helping with my mobility ended up injuring me and making me less mobile. I still have a killer bruise spread out over that foot and I think probably one of my toes is broken, but with the levels of pain I maintain on a daily basis - I'm not really noticing it that much??

All the things/people: had some awesome convos up in my room with folks who were willing to come to me, as well as in the lobby, as well as in the hot tub! my fibro was dragging me down more this year than in year's past so I didn't make it to as many panels as usual and didn't go to any parties and didn't even do a lot of just chilling in public spaces looking for ppl to chat with. which was okay. I missed doing all the things, but you never really can do ALL the things anyway.

Extroversion: I feel for my introvert friends who kinda brave the con and then have to do a lot of recovery afterwards. I am sooooo the opposite. I'm such an extrovert but spend a large part of my life isolated so I get to WisCon and it's like "wheeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!people!!!!!!!!!!1wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And it does take it out of me *physically* but it totally charges me up emotionally and mentally. I don't come home feeling like I need some alone time at ALL. I come home feeling very sad that my entire life isn't spent surrounded by hundreds of people and that I have to wait a whole year to do this again.

Imposter: still noting the trend of feeling more confident and less imposter syndrome-y every year.

This year specifically: I'm still really just awed and inspired by everyone who made this year's con happen. really any year. but this year specifically. because we had some serious internal issues to sort through this year. and the fact that so many people stepped up to fill in gaps and take over roles and just GOT SHIT DONE - was really impressive. and especially those people who went to the con-specific panels and dug in and had the difficult conversations - just - kudos to you all! I'm so grateful that this is still a place I can go and do my thing and learn the stuff I'm learning and squee about the stuff that makes me squee and get to know and appreciate and enjoy the company of the kinds of people who also come and just. thank you Wis-Con. thank you to the co-chairs, the concom, SF3, all the volunteers, and the whole damn lot of you. Thank you for always trying to do better and be better.
5 comments|post comment

WisCon panels I was on and other random thoughts [04 Jun 2015|02:14pm]
I have fewer notes for the panels I was on, because I don't take notes while I'm paneling/moderating, so all the disclaimers about stuff I missed and please add to these in the world - but here's a few sporratic things I remember about them and some thoughts I had about them.

The usual disclaimer notes...
1. I'm using the names of panelists as they are listed in the program book and will change/delete names if asked.

2. I won't name any audience member unless said audience member comes forward and asks to be credited for their words.

3. I'm using pronouns to the best of my knowledge - again, please correct if I got any wrong!

The first one was:
Disability and the StarshipCollapse )

Next up was my surprise panelist experience:Fandom, Creators and the Space In-BetweenCollapse )

This next panel was one I have to admit I found kind of frustrating, but also worthwhile in some ways.
Intersectional Body PositivityCollapse )

So anyway, I think there were really good things about the panel, but I definitely left it feeling kind of frustrated and anxious??

Which then led into my last panel-I-was-on for the weekend...

Why is this Character White? Why are they Straight?Collapse )

For ALL of these panels - please please please add any notes you might have, thoughts you had if you attended, any positive or negative feedback you have for me personally or the panel itself, etc. (Feel free to do so privately too - I always appreciate getting feedback so I can be better but know not everyone is comfortable giving it publicly).

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand that's all!


Some other random panel ideas I had throughout the con:
- From the Harmful Tropes panel - something about identifing with villains, why we do it, what that says about examples of ourselves we're given in the media, etc.
- Playing Pretend as early collaborative fanfic.
- Copyrights and Fandom?? (I don't have the expertise to even write such a panel up, but this came up at several different points over the weekend and there were certainly folks who were knowledgeable enough to talk about the topic!)
- Something about intersectionality of service industry - tipping, unions, etc.
- And as noted above, more specific panels about intersectional body positivity.

[Next up is my non-panel related con thoughts, and then my masterpost of links to all of these posts to be linked around]
6 comments|post comment

WisCon panel - Internet Memes as Collaborative Microfiction [02 Jun 2015|06:45pm]
1. I'm using the names of panelists as they are listed in the program book and will change/delete names if asked.

2. I won't name any audience member unless said audience member comes forward and asks to be credited for their words.

3. I'm human and make mistakes, only wrote down things that sparked my interest, was probably writing something down when something else cool was said... Please feel free to correct me, add info, etc.

4. I am not a professional transcriber, so a lot of this will be paraphrased. Again - please correct me if you said it yourself, or heard it better than I did! Thanks!

5. I'm using pronouns to the best of my knowledge - again, please correct if I got any wrong!

You guys - this was an awesome, hilarious panel. I loved it.

But, at this point in the con I was more than a little exhausted, in pain, and out of it. So between that and the general hilarity - my notes will be a bit scattered.

panel notes under hereCollapse )

This panel was so much more though and way funnier than my choppy notes can begin to describe. More thoughts on it later perhaps!
4 comments|post comment

WisCon panel - How Do You Recommend Problematic Things? [02 Jun 2015|05:25pm]
1. I'm using the names of panelists as they are listed in the program book and will change/delete names if asked.

2. I won't name any audience member unless said audience member comes forward and asks to be credited for their words.

3. I'm human and make mistakes, only wrote down things that sparked my interest, was probably writing something down when something else cool was said... Please feel free to correct me, add info, etc.

4. I am not a professional transcriber, so a lot of this will be paraphrased. Again - please correct me if you said it yourself, or heard it better than I did! Thanks!

5. I'm using pronouns to the best of my knowledge - again, please correct if I got any wrong!

panel notes under hereCollapse )
3 comments|post comment

WisCon panel - The Future of Gender: Beyond the Binary [02 Jun 2015|03:52pm]
1. I'm using the names of panelists as they are listed in the program book and will change/delete names if asked.

2. I won't name any audience member unless said audience member comes forward and asks to be credited for their words.

3. I'm human and make mistakes, only wrote down things that sparked my interest, was probably writing something down when something else cool was said... Please feel free to correct me, add info, etc.

4. I am not a professional transcriber, so a lot of this will be paraphrased. Again - please correct me if you said it yourself, or heard it better than I did! Thanks!

5. I'm using pronouns to the best of my knowledge - again, please correct if I got any wrong!

panel notes under hereCollapse )

Overall, an interesting panel that I'm really glad I went to!
16 comments|post comment

WisCon panel - What Science Knows About Sex and Gender (And What it Doesn't) [01 Jun 2015|05:09pm]
1. I'm using the names of panelists as they are listed in the program book and will change/delete names if asked.

2. I won't name any audience member unless said audience member comes forward and asks to be credited for their words.

3. I'm human and make mistakes, only wrote down things that sparked my interest, was probably writing something down when something else cool was said... Please feel free to correct me, add info, etc.

4. I am not a professional transcriber, so a lot of this will be paraphrased. Again - please correct me if you said it yourself, or heard it better than I did! Thanks!

5. I'm using pronouns to the best of my knowledge - again, please correct if I got any wrong!

For this panel specifically:
It was mt first panel in the morning and I was not very awake, I left for a few minutes part-way through to take a phone call, science is not something I understand very well so I spaced out a lot and didn't take very good notes, my handwriting is epically bad in this set of notes, and so there is just a lot that I can't decipher or grok enough to write up. Expect lots and lots of gaps and probably my having written down wrong things here and there. Sorry!!

panel notes under cutCollapse )

I'm sorry these notes are so crappy. The basic conclusion is that stuff is not very well understood by science yet, science means a lot of different things (different fields define things differently), and that there is a lot more to know about sex and gender beyond basic binary definitions!
5 comments|post comment

WisCon panel - Death to Love Triangles [01 Jun 2015|01:59pm]
General Panel Write-up Info:

1. I'm using the names of panelists as they are listed in the program book and will change/delete names if asked.

2. I won't name any audience member unless said audience member comes forward and asks to be credited for their words.

3. I'm human and make mistakes, only wrote down things that sparked my interest, was probably writing something down when something else cool was said... Please feel free to correct me, add info, etc.

4. I am not a professional transcriber, so a lot of this will be paraphrased. Again - please correct me if you said it yourself, or heard it better than I did! Thanks!

5. I'm using pronouns to the best of my knowledge - again, please correct if I got any wrong!

I was excited about this panel because I actually enjoy love triangles if they're done well but also see how they mostly are not done well, and just yay!

panel notes under hereCollapse )

I have a lot of thinky thoughts on this subject myself, especially in regards to THG because I really don't think the love triangle there was a main part of the story. I agree with Alaya about it being symbolic of the choices Katniss was making, but I don't think it can be simplified down to "choose Peeta for peace and Gale for war". I think a lot more went into both decisions and it wasn't Katniss choosing the guy because of the political decision or vice versa.

I know a lot of people criticize Mockingjay, especially the ending, as Collins refuting her own philosophy in the first two books, but I don't see it that way at all. I see the entire trilogy as being about Katniss navigating all of this confusing stuff and sorting things out for herself and, yes, changing her mind sometimes. And yea, in the end, there was a sense of sort of giving up, and realizing that she could only change so much and there's some cynicism there as far as how much can be changed. But a lot of that is just realistic growing up stuff?

And I don't see Katniss as making her political or her romantic decisions in tandem at all? They inform one another, but they're not equatable. In the end, she really isn't even choosing one over the other.

She makes some drastic political choices, and then also recedes back to her old life in a sort of state of denial about what is going to happen next. Because, frankly, she's had enough trauma already and is seriously burnt out and was used against her will so much that she deserves to get away from it all the end!

She decides she can't be with Gale - not simply because of what he did in the war and how that affected her personally - but because of her careful thoughts on their personalities and how they were too alike in some ways and how she needed to extricate herself from the political stage that he was choosing to become more engaged in.

And that didn't lead directly to her choosing Peeta? It wasn't like - oh, welp, me and Gale won't work so Peeta it is! Like, Katniss would have been perfectly fine being single or finding someone entirely different to be with as well? But Peeta was there, in the same sort of situation as her, and still comforting her and being what she needed, and so eventually, yes, she choose to be with him.

IDK okay, I just have a lot thoughts about this story in particular and how it really doesn't fit the love triangle tropes that everyone seems to think it does?!?!

And also just about love triangles in general and how I think they can often be done in really interesting ways and like - okay - basically what I hate is when the MARKETERS of a story use love triangle tropes to SELL a story that isn't that tropey??? (See: Veronica Mars). But the actual love triangles (and squares, and other shapes, etc.) that I've actually witnessed in my fiction have been interesting ad I've enjoyed them??? (See: The Vampire Diaries, Lost, a lot of the Buffyverse stuff, etc.).

(Can you tell this was a panel I really wanted to be on myself? lol)
4 comments|post comment

WisCon panel - Misandry, Reverse Racism, and Other Imaginary Creatures [31 May 2015|08:15pm]
General Panel Write-up Info:

1. I'm using the names of panelists as they are listed in the program book and will change/delete names if asked.

2. I won't name any audience member unless said audience member comes forward and asks to be credited for their words.

3. I'm human and make mistakes, only wrote down things that sparked my interest, was probably writing something down when something else cool was said... Please feel free to correct me, add info, etc.

4. I am not a professional transcriber, so a lot of this will be paraphrased. Again - please correct me if you said it yourself, or heard it better than I did! Thanks!

5. I'm using pronouns to the best of my knowledge - again, please correct if I got any wrong!

panel notes under hereCollapse )

Overall, fantastic panel. Super hilarious, and also very smart/informative.
1 comment|post comment

WisCon panel - Manic Pixies, Magical Negroes, and Other Iconic Harmful Tropes [30 May 2015|05:07pm]
General Panel Write-up Info:

1. I'm using the names of panelists as they are listed in the program book and will change/delete names if asked.

2. I won't name any audience member unless said audience member comes forward and asks to be credited for their words.

3. I'm human and make mistakes, only wrote down things that sparked my interest, was probably writing something down when something else cool was said... Please feel free to correct me, add info, etc.

4. I am not a professional transcriber, so a lot of this will be paraphrased. Again - please correct me if you said it yourself, or heard it better than I did! Thanks!

5. I'm using pronouns to the best of my knowledge - again, please correct if I got any wrong!

For this panel specifically: it was my first panel of the con, I came in about half-way through so missed all of that content, and also it took me awhile to really settle in and take notes. I also was sitting in the back and off to the side in a large, crowded room and quite likely got some names mixed up, especially since I missed the panel intros at the start.

panel notes hereCollapse )
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wiscon writeups [29 May 2015|12:30pm]
So I'll be writing up my WisCon panels soon. I went to half the number as I did last year - between leaving slightly early (Sunday night vs. Monday afternoon) and feeling the fibro a bit heavier than I have in the past, I just wasn't able to push myself to as many panels as I wanted to. Also, I purposefully made the choice to sit and be social at times vs. going to a panel, and I don't regret that at all.

I also did not attend a single party this year, which makes me kind of sad because there were some interesting ones that were not of the usual sit-around-and-talk type. But it just didn't happen.

Anyway... panels I did attend this year and will be writing up are:

Manic Pixies, Magical Negroes, and Other Iconic Harmful Tropes (2nd half of panel)

Misandry, Reverse Racism, and Other Imaginary Creatures

Death to Love Triangles

What Science Knows About Sex and Gender (And What It Doesn’t) (partial notes)

The Future of Gender: Beyond the Binary

How Do You Recommend Problematic Things?

Internet Memes as Collaborative Microfiction


Then I’ll have brief notes/thoughts on the four panels I was on - Disability and the Starship, Fandom Creators and The Space In Between, Intersectional Body Positivity, and Why Is This Character White? Why Are They Straight?

When I get all that done, I might do a sort of my thoughts on the con overall kinda post as well.

I'm going to do the initial write-ups here as I have in years past and then link them about to my other online places.
2 comments|post comment

how i do social media [26 May 2015|12:55pm]
copy and pasting from my tumblr:

Post-WisCon there is always a flurry of adding folks on all of the platforms which is awesome! And I figure it’s a great opportunity, once a year, to recap where I am, how I use each site, if you should add me there, etc. So here goes (and I’ll link this about):

Tumblr (sophygurl): This is the site I use most often. I do occasionally make personal texty posts, but the great majority of my posts are reblogs. Primarily fandom related (allll of the TV shows, and sometimes movies and books). Also signal boosting important causes, puns, memes, cat pics, and genderqueer/genderbending pics.

As far as keeping up with my dash - I’m erratic. I might skip whole days in a row and then spend an entire 12 hours reblogging everything on my dash. I try to remember to go specifically to particular friend’s blogs every now and then because I almost never get caught up on even a day’s worth of posts anymore. I keep finding too many interesting people to add!

Please do feel free to add me, but also please feel free not to if you’re just not into the content I post. We can be friends elsewhere and not be tumblr mutuals - I won’t be offended. If you do add me - a quick note reminding me who you are if we met at WisCon or from another site is awesome as I have memory problems.

Facebook (my real first and last name - ask if you don’t know it): Probably the site I use second most frequently. But you should know that I am not religious about keeping up to date on FB. I don’t even change the timeline feed to include everyone or sort it by date or whatever because I kinda like the randomosity of it all. I post probably equal parts short personal things (mostly complaining about my health tbh) and reblogs of cool shit or political shit I agree with.

Feel free to add me, and as long as you remind me who you are, I will add back.

I also tend to use FB as a messaging service because I’m not a texter. So that’s a good place to get ahold of me online if you need my attention quick!

Twitter (sophygurl):
My tendencies with twitter are: use it a lot shortly before, during, and after WisCon. Use it a lot during Big Brother season. Use it sparingly otherwise. I’m thinking that might change and I might be starting to use it more now, but we’ll see what happens come fall (BB season starts up soon after con-flurry starts to fade).

Again, add away or not - mute all the BB nonsense if you came for the feminism and don’t care to stay for the reality TV. Whatever. It’s all good.

Livejournal (sophy):
This used to my home online. I don’t go there as often as I used to, but I still have warm feelings for the place. Often, if I want to make a long more deeply emotional post, I still go there. Same rules apply - add me if you wish, remind me who you are, etc.

Dreamwidth (sophygurl): I use this even less frequently than LJ and really only go there to read posts anymore, so only add me there if you post things there that you don’t cross-post elsewhere so that I can read that content when I remember to go there. No need to add me there to read what I have to say because anything I say there is cross-posted elsewhere.

Blog-reading: If you have a non-tumblr, non-LJ/DW blog, please feel free to tell me about it! I do have a blog reader and I do have a “people I know” folder there that I try to get to on at least a monthly basis. I have no such animal to reciprocate with at the moment.

Private contact: If you’d like my email address, phone number, whatever, lmk. I almost never use the phone, tho, so email and these other sites here are much better ways to reach me.

General info about engaging with me online:


I feel shy about adding people first. Sometimes I do it, but I super appreciate it when ppl I’ve interacted with add me because then I know I’m not just being an annoying creeper and feel comfy adding back and interacting with you!

I’m mostly homebound due to chronic illness, so the internet is a big part of my socialization. However, that same chronic illness sometimes makes it so that I’m away from the net for days at a time, too.

I’m an extrovert stuck in an introvert’s body, basically, so I love love love interactions of all kinds. Fill my inbox! Give me comments! Send me private messages! It will make me day.

I 100% get why this isn’t true for most people - but I actually don’t mind at all mixing my various online and real life identities, so you can call me Rosemary or sophy in person or online and it’s all good.

Speaking of identities… I’m a cis genderqueer woman, some form of non-monosexual/romantic orientation, poly, disabled, fat, mentally ill, cat person, feminist, leo, usually enfp but sometimes enfj or infp/j, single, childless auntie, living with my platonic queer poly tribe, major TV fan, dorky, liberal, mystic agnostic, critical fan of problematic things.
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annual pre-wiscon post [17 May 2015|03:45pm]
So a few things about me and interacting with me:

I have memory/cognitive issues due my chronic health issues, so I have trouble sometimes remembering people’s names, connecting their real life names with online handles and such, and how/if/when we’ve interacted in the past.
I also have a mild case of prosopagnosia (face blindness), so I may have trouble recognizing you. Basically what I’m saying is that I’m bad with both names and faces and if I sort of stare at you blankly or questioningly, please don’t take it personally, I’m just trying to put the pieces together.
Please do feel free to remind me that your other name is (blah) and we were on panel (whatever) together last year and we’re friends on (suchnsuch media site), etc. Chances are I know these things already, but I welcome the refresher!
As for my own identities - my badge reads “Rosemary/sophy(gurl)” because my name is Rosemary, I go by sophygurl on most sites and sophy on a few (like LJ). I’m all fine with having my real name and online identities mixed, so you can call me either Rosemary or sophy in person or online and I’ll respond just as readily to either.
I’m a hugger! Please ask first because occasionally I might not be up for touch, but generally I enjoy the hugs and other forms of friendly touch. (yes, you can ask to touch my shaved head, for example)
At the con, I usually have either my walker or a cane with me. Occasionally I leave it behind, but the mobility devices really help me enjoy more of the con. In addition to taking more meds than usual, I also use caffeine medicinally all con-long to help me stay awake and alert and enjoy myself, which is a big part of how I’m able to con at all because I rarely let myself have caffeine otherwise so it really affects me a lot when I do consume it! Basically, con-me is not year-long me. Con-me is who I wish year-long me was. Blasted illness!
I enjoy books and movies, but TV is my main fandom - so please please come talk to me about your favorite tv shows, ask me for show recs, discuss the medium of television with me, whatever! I literally can’t get enough TV talk.
I don’t have any set meal plans or the like yet, so hit me up if you wanna set one up!
I don’t have a fancy phone that keeps me connected to the internet at all times, but I check in throughout the day on my laptop up in my room. If you want to know ways to contact me, ask me privately and I’ll give you my info.
I’m an extrovert, but I can be shy and imposter syndrome-y, so I really appreciate when people make an effort to socialize with me because that’s basically what I’m here for! :)

Panels I’ll be on:

Moderating - Disability and the Starship on Saturday at 2:30pm Senate A

Intersectional Body-Positivity on Sunday at 2:30pm Conference 4

Why is This Character White? Why Are They Straight? on Sunday at 4pm Wisconsin

Panels I’ll be attending:

as many as humanly possible and maybe a few more than that! muahaha

I’ll also probably at least peek in to most of the parties and spend some time at the Gathering. I tend to skip the sit-in-a-big-crowd events like opening ceremonies and the Tiptree and GoH stuff, but if I have the spoons and if my extroversion is winning out over the imposter syndrome, I’ll try and hit the Room readings and Geekeoke on Thursday.

Um. I think that’s it. Gonna copy/link this post around the various places.
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spring catch-up [06 May 2015|06:53pm]
Hello again LJ! Holy cow, I haven't posted since FEBRUARY!? Ack! I definitely did not mean to let it go that long.

Quick update on me, let's see, lists are always good:

1. Physically have not been great. Lots of fatigue and weakness and also nausea lately, which has not been fun. Winter was especially hard this year and I'm still recovering. I saw my doctor yesterday and we talked about my getting botox treatments for my migraines, so I need to start keeping a headache journal to keep track of symptoms to see if I'm eligible for them.

2. Cleo, my elderly baby cat, is still trudging along. She's about 20 years old now and she spends most of her days sleeping all snuggled up against me. She doesn't eat as well as she used to, but she's still interested in food (just say the word "chicken" to her and she still licks her chops and purrs even if she doesn't jump up and go looking for it anymore), still likes to go outside and look out the windows, occasionally still runs around or plays with toys for a few minutes before lying back down. So, I don't believe she's anywhere near to giving up on life yet, but I know it's getting harder for her. Her back legs are really weak and shaky and she falls over/ doesn't quite make her jumps a lot. I'm still really scared about how I'm going to manage once she's gone, but coping by just enjoying every second I have with her in the meantime.

3. I'm still fairly active on tumblr. I like the fandom connections there because watching television is still my main activity and being able to come online after watching an episode and discussing it with other fans and sharing gifsets and comparing thoughts and feelings about the show is just really enjoyable.

4. Speaking of fandom, I went to see the new Avengers movie yesterday and liked it. Didn't love it, but liked it. I think some of the complaints people are having about the movie are a bit misdirected, but I see where folks are coming from.

5. I haven't had to file for taxes in years because I have such low income levels, but I finally did my homestead credit this year and for the last few years (it's a thing where low income folks can get money back either for owning or renting their home). I should be getting a couple thousand bucks sometime in the next few months, which is an alarming amount of money for me. There are some household needs I have to see to, and I'm tucking at least half away in savings, but I'm hoping to get a couple of little treats for myself as well. :)

6. I've been dealing with some illness-related situational depression lately. Just struggling with where my limitations are and all of the things I can't do anymore and feeling like my life is just me trying to get through each day in survival mode. It's frustrating and scary and depressing. I know living with chronic illness, for me at least, means constantly cycling through the stages of grieving and I guess I'm just spending a little time in depression right now before heading back to acceptance, but I wish I didn't have to live like this sometimes yk?

7. I'm on the 6th book of the Outlander series right now. The previous one was a bit boring to get through, so I'm hoping this one picks up a bit again.

8. It's spring! Open windows and flowers and trees blooming! It doesn't seem to be coming with my usual uptick in energy this year, but I'll still take it.

9. WisCon is in two weeks! I'm not sure how I'm going to manage it this year, but I think that every year, and somehow being there gives me the energy to enjoy myself, so hopefully that will happen again.

This year I'll be on three panels:

Moderating - Disability and the Starship on Saturday at 2:30pm Senate A

Science fiction rarely includes disabled characters; why not? What does disability look like in space? How does space change the social and political perception of disability? Let’s talk about works including disabled characters, like Battlestar Galactica, and what the embodiment of disability at the final frontier might look like. As authors, fans, and readers, how can we increase the representation of disability in space, and do it well?

Intersectional Body-Positivity on Sunday at 2:30pm Conference 4

Body positivity comes in many forms, but some mainstream attempts at defining or championing it end up pissing on one group even as they attempt to make another feel better. Body-positivity is not only about fat acceptance, it’s also about accepting yourself at any size. It’s about acceptance of all trans people with gender-nontypical bodies, and their right to identify in ways “contradicted” by their physicality. How can we support all people in finding their embodiment awesome? What does that look like?

Why is This Character White? Why Are They Straight? on Sunday at 4pm Wisconsin

Let’s flip the center on casting and think about what it might be like if scriptwriters had to justify their choices to make characters members of the privileged ends of their spectra (instead of them only allowing gay characters “for plot”).

As usual, there's a ton of panels I want to attend as well - many of them happening at the same time so I'll have to pick and choose.

10. OCD says there has to be a ten, but I can't think of a tenth thing. Very tired now, going to rest. Love!
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go me [18 Feb 2015|04:44pm]
[Warning: some TMI re: vaginal health below]

pap smear dayCollapse )
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