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2016 in Review, LJ Style [02 Jan 2017|04:03pm]
Gosh, I haven't done one of these in so long!

1. What did you do in 2016 that you'd never done before?

Adopted 2 kitties. (I've always only had one at a time before)

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I believe that I did, and I believe that I will.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yes, my step-brother and his wife had their first child this summer.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

My nana, although she was 104, so it wasn't exactly unexpected.


5. What countries did you visit?


You might better ask what counties did I visit, and even then it would be a short list.

6. What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016?

More energy, less pain.

7. What date from 2016 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

11/9 - as one friend put it, the day the country died.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Did my budgeting well enough that I was able to pull off Christmas without using my credit card!

9. What was your biggest failure?

I have yet to get to a dentist.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Just all the usual chronic stuff.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Well, it's called adoption fees - but bringing our two new buddies home, getting their vet checks in, buying all the supplies and treats and such to get them settled.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

All of the activists and organizations fighting the incoming presidential administration and everything they stand for. Calling out specifically - the ACLU, Planned Parenthood, Southern Poverty Law Center, Black Lives Matter, Stand with Standing Rock, Greenpeace, everyone fighting and working to improve the Flint water crisis, Elaine Welteroth the new editor-in-chief of Teen Vogue, Michael Moore, and idk so many others. But most especially all of the individuals working hard to make the world a little bit better.


13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?


Donald Trump, Mike Pence, Paul Ryan, Steve Bannon, and everyone who has worked for or with these guys and their cohorts, and everyone who voted for them or otherwise made it possible for them take power. And most especially all of the racist, sexist, islamophobic, xenophoic, homophobic asshats who took advantage of Trump's win to carry out attacks and acts of hate. Dishonorable mention to all of the single-issue voters who don't have hearts filled with hate but who voted the way they did anyway, knowing full well that they were voting for a racist misogynistic buffoon of a man just because he purports to be pro-life. In some ways, they depressed me the most.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Beyond the usual rent and food type costs, probably adopting our two guys, WisCon, and then Christmas shopping.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Taking our kitties home, WisCon, and the holidays. :)

16. What song will always remind you of 2016?

I can't think of a specific song for this year.


17. Compared to this time last year, are you:


i. happier or sadder? Happier. Was still big-time grieving for Cleo, and now, while I still miss her every single day, I have Shisky and Sheldon to cheer me up.
ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner (though this is due to the nausea so it's not necessarily a good thing)
iii. richer or poorer? A little bit richer I guess? More like a little bit more financially stable, though.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Seen friends and family.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Feeling sorry for myself. I guess I needed to for awhile, but I'm glad I pulled myself out of it.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

I spent it with family - Christmas Eve with my mom and step-dad; Christmas day with them plus my brother, sil, and two nieces; the elder niece stayed over and the next day my step-sis, step-bro and his wife and baby, and the step's mom came over as well; the next day sil and younger niece came to pick up older niece and mom took me home. It was all absolutely wonderful and also absolutely exhausting.

21. How will you be spending New Year's Eve?

Spent it with Dave and his niece and her husband who came down to visit. They rented a little place through airbnb and we played games and she made us dinner, it was lovely.


22. Did you fall in love in 2016?


Just with the cats. (different kind of love, obvi)

23. How many one-night stands?

None.

24. What was your favorite TV program?

I don't know how to choose such a thing, but some faves included Big Brother, Dark Matter, General Hospital, How to Get Away With Murder, Mr. Robot, Outsiders, Supergirl, UnReal, The Walking Dead, and You're the Worst.


25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?


See 13.

26. What was the best book you read?

I read a few good books, but my faves were probably the Patricia Briggs' Mercyverse novels that I started getting into and read my way through this year.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I don't think I got into any new music this year.

28. What did you want and get?

A new kitty friend - and I got two!!


29. What did you want & not get?


An answer to this nausea crap.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

Deadpool and Ghostbusters were my faves, although I haven't gotten a chance to see Rogue One yet...


31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?


I turned 41 this year and my roomie, who shares my bday, turned 40. We split the bday weekend by playing games at our friend's house one day and let him choose the foods we ate and games we played, and then games at our place the next day and I got to choose the foods and games.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Bernie or Hilary winning the election.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016?

Pajamas, once again, for the most part.

34. What kept you sane?

Well, I'll never be totally sane. But my cats, my roommates, my friends, my family, my internet access and cable TV/DVR go a long way - not to mention my meds. Ha, yes, my meds do a lot. lol

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

No one is coming to mind specifically.


36. What political issue stirred you the most?


The presidential election and all of the fallout so far from it (he's not even in office yet!). Honorable mentions to Standing Rock, Brexit, and the Orlando shootings.

37. Who did you miss?

Shayla, who moved away on us. My nieces and really all of my family who I never get to see enough of. And my beloved Cleo, every day.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

Lots of awesome folks at WisCon, as usual. :)

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016:

That people can call you a friend, expect you to accept them as they are, and still take actions that have direct and harmful consequences to you and those you love. And that it's okay for that to make you mad, and to let go of them.


40. quote a song lyric that sums up your year:


It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine?
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Holiday Update [27 Dec 2016|12:40am]
Two big family shindigs done. Up early tomorrow to get some more time in with my older niece before her mom and sister show up to take her to more family stuff on the other side of their fam. Been trying to get as many hugs and lap-sits as I can because 1) I just don't see her enough and 2) she has always been so wonderfully physically affection but as these pre-teen years creep in, she might lose some of that - at least for a few years. So I'm taking in as much as possible while I have the chance. Will be good to see sis-in-law and younger niece a bit tomorrow too.

My younger niece has come out of her shell quite a very lot over this past year or so, but she's still introverted enough that you're never sure if you'll get a hug from her or not (which is fine - I respect her bodily autonomy), or get to spend quality time with her or not (which, again, is fine, I respect her need to self-soothe and recharge in quiet), but again - when I can get time with her, when she is feeling affection and huggy, I always wanna soak as much of that in as I can while I can. Because kids grow up so fast. Speaking of, I got some lovely time with baby step-nephew again today. He was totally charmed with his cousin (my older niece), which was very cute to watch.

As always, didn't get enough time to bond with the other adults when kids are around - which is fine, kids come first - but I often end up wishing we could do two gatherings, an adult one and a whole family one. Did, however, get some bonding time with mom and Bill's cat. Bonding with pets is a requirement in any home I enter.

I am so lucky to have such a large family, all of whom get along and enjoy one another's company overall - and who are close enough to visit with for big holidays and other events.

The part of me that never has enough, of course, wishes that some combo of the following was true: 1) I was capable of driving and had access to a car, 2) we all lived even closer to one another - such as in or in/around the same city, 3) other folks's lives were not quite as frantic and hectic as they are, making it difficult for them to - say - pick my gimpy ass up to come visit with them more often, 4) my own health issues disappeared and I was physically capable of sustaining more up-time socializing in ways that go beyond stretching out on my own sofa at home in pajamas, etc.

But, these things are not true, and there is no changing them, so we carry on and remain grateful for all of the time we do get with them and try to make the very most out of each moment we have together.

Well, anyway, ending the rush of family gatherings tomorrow, and after mom drops me off at home, I will be doing a combo of resting and cleaning for NYE company. We'll see how that goes. Might be spending more time at the place they are staying than here. heh
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[22 Dec 2016|11:27am]
So remember when my keyboard started acting badly and then one of you dear folks got me an external one to use and then I could type properly again?

Well, that external keyboard just kinda ... stopped working on me. So then I was gonna finally take my laptop into the shop, but whoever used to work there that was friendly and helpful is obviously gone and replaced by someone unreliable and not very good at the customer service part of the job, so I decided to just get myself another external keyboard.

That arrived today, and is working smoothly so far, and so I am able to type properly again! I am hoping this will mean I will be internetting more again, but with Christmas coming and the spoons that takes from me, we'll see.
2 comments|post comment

Oppose Trump [14 Nov 2016|06:55pm]
I just wrote to my governor, senators and representative, state senator and representative, county executive, county district supervisor, mayor, and alderperson asking them to publicly oppose Trump and his forming administration and to take whatever actions they can to block and stop his policies when the time comes.

If you would like to do the same, please feel free to copy and paste all or parts of the letter I composed.

(Keep in mind that calling representatives is more effective than writing or signing petitions, so please do also call your reps on specific issues as often as you are able to)

My letter:

Hello, my name is [my name] and I am one of your constituents. I am writing to all of my representatives from the local to the federal levels today to ask you to take a strong stand against president-elect Trump, vice president-elect Pence, and their forming administration.

While he will become our next freely elected president, Trump did not win the popular vote, and even his electoral win was not large enough that it can be considered a mandate. Therefore I am asking you, as my representative, to take a stand against his many dangerous policies.

We have elected a president who has admitted to sexual assault, who has espoused racism, islamophobia, xenophobia, abelism, misogyny, and other hateful things. He has attacked the free press and stated his disdain for the First Amendment of the Constitution of this nation. His plans for this country include many unconstitutional things, as well as policies that will hurt the most marginalized of our citizens – people of color, immigrants, Muslims, Jews, the sick and disabled, the elderly, the lgbt communities, and of course women. His proposed policies will wreak havoc on the environment, the economy, and relations with other countries for decades to come.

Furthermore, members of Trump’s transition team, and therefore assumed cabinet staff once he takes office, include people like white nationalist Steve Bannon, and climate denier Ben Carson. Trump has also promised to stack the Supreme Court with pro-life judges who will repeal Roe v. Wade.

So what am I, your constituent asking of you? I am asking that you 1) take a strong, vocal, and public stand against president-elect Trump, his proposed policies, and his choice of staff members. Please do not normalize the fact that he is hiring blatant racists, anti-semites, and homophobes as his top advisers. Speak out publicly and often so that your constituents know that you find these things to be unacceptable. I am also asking that you 2) wherever and whenever possible fight against the hateful, discriminatory, and damaging policies that Trump and his team are proposing. Now more than ever we need not only your voice, but your action to block and stop these proposed policies from becoming law.

As your constituent, I am asking you to take a stand for all of your constituents who are: disabled and/or sick, female, Black, Latinx, Asian, Muslim, Middle Eastern, Mexican, Native, immigrants, Jewish, gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer, trans, non-binary, intersex, elderly, poor, sexual assault victims, and domestic violence victims. I am asking you to take a stand for the education and well-being of future generations, for the environment, and for the citizens of other countries who Trump has so little regard for. I am asking you to take a stand to protect the free press and freedom of speech in this country.

As your constituent, I am asking you to speak up – loudly, publicly, and frequently. As your constituent, I am asking you to fight in every way possible against the policies of this dangerous man. Sadly, the voters in this country have done our job poorly. We now need our representatives in the government on all levels to stand up and do their jobs of protecting us more fiercely than ever before.

Thank you,

[my name/full address/email address]
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welcome to trump's america [09 Nov 2016|01:42pm]
I'm terrified. I'm enraged. I'm in mourning.

I can't stop crying.

I keep reminding myself that this was not a clear mandate. And while over half of this country is okay with a sex predator bigot for a president, it's only slightly half of the country. There is not a mandate for hate in this country. Not yet anyway.

I plan to keep living - for my loved ones, yes - but primarily out of spite. I won't let them make me go gentle into the night. I will fight for every scrap of life, joy, and meaning I can get.

If you voted for Trump - fuck you. Tell me so I can unfriend you, and delete you from my mental list of friends because you clearly don't care if I, or people like me, live or die.

To the rest of you (I believe most of it not all of you) - love, solidarity, and support. As a disabled queer woman I am terrified for myself. As a white non-immigrant non-muslim person, I am terrified for everyone else. I'll have your backs. I love you all.
14 comments|post comment

Fall TV Stuff [19 Sep 2016|07:10pm]
I apologize for not being around much but I thought some of you might like one of my old fashioned TV posts. It won't be as detailed as usual because I just don't have the energy for that, but here's a look at some of the new shows I'm thinking of checking out coming soon.

new fall showsCollapse )

In conclusion - lots of horror and thrillers this season. I guess folks wanna be scared. I do find it interesting how the horror genre is blowing up in television recently.
3 comments|post comment

[27 Jul 2016|06:44pm]
me keboard is messed up.

the letter b4 z doesn't work, so i just spell a lot of things funnie now (or sometimes i use the spellchecker to fix it and put it in 4 me). r is also gone, but i copie and paste it in, which makes tieping kind of annoying. also some of the number kes don't work and v is starting to go.

i am waiting until after big brother is over to get it fixed tho because i chat a lot with fellow fans and need the laptop to watch the livefeeds, etc. so don't want the laptop to be in the shop during bb season. which i know is kind of idiotic but whatever - that's me.

me life is just bb, other tv shows, sims, chilling with the cats, and resting a lot.
31 comments|post comment

[01 Jul 2016|06:44pm]
I don't have anything to say but I wanted to pop in to say hi!
3 comments|post comment

ten quick things [15 Jun 2016|08:16pm]
So let's see, what's going on with me....

1. Relieved to have finished my WisCon write-ups. I enjoy doing them and am glad they are useful to others, but it took a lot of energy this year so I'm glad I got them all done.

2. I'm transitioning from my post-con obsession into my Big Brother obsession. Cast interviews are up, so I'm learning about the new cast and gradually going back into my usual fan haunts to greet old friends and see what's what for the new season. The show comes back next week so I'll be deep into it soon.

Three. My keyboard isn't totally functioning and you can see which number isn't working properly there. Also the y and r keys are so-so. I find myself sometimes copy and pasting them as I type. Ugh.

4. Had my annual lunch with my dad last week. It went better than usual, but still kinda relieved to have it out of the way for the year again.

5. Same day, my step-sis-in-law gave birth. I'm excited and not sure when I'll get a chance to meet the new fella, but looking forward to it.

6. My brother has rejoined facebook and is posting a lot about my nieces, which is a huge joy. I miss seeing them in person more often tho.

7. Orlando makes me hurt. I've written more on tumblr, twitter, and FB about it, so we'll just leave it at that for now here.

8. Physically am pretty beat down, but mentally/emotionally I'm doing good. It's a balance, I guess.

9. Still missing my Cleo girl on a daily basis. But loving the stuffings out of our Shisky and Sheldon buddies.

10. IDK. How are you all?
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WisCon 40 Panel Write-up Link Post [05 Jun 2016|05:55pm]
And now, an end to the spam as I collect links to all of my panel write-ups and other posts all in one place for further linkage.

Feel free to link to this, or any of the posts individually. And feel free to comment here or wherever you found the link from initially - whichever you prefer. I hope this was helpful for folks.

And please point me to other panel write-ups - either of these panels or of ones I didn't personally get to.

my pre-con about me post

my post-con how I do social media post

General Post-con Wrap-up post

Panel Notes:

When Villains Are Our Only Representation (or how I learned to stop worrying and love the baddie)

Body Positivity and the Disabled Body

Critiquing Bootstraps, Positive Thinking, Diet and Exercise

Female Friendship in Fiction


Intersectionality and Other Words Taken from Women of Color


Bi Invisibility

Polyamory Won't Fix Your Love Triangle

There Is No Aging Out Of Fandom

Is Rey a Mary Sue?

Super Girls and Women in TV and Movies


Women Loving Women on TV
7 comments|post comment

WisCon 40 Panel Write-up Women Loving Women on TV [05 Jun 2016|03:12pm]
Panel note disclaimers and clarifications:

1. I only use the names of panelists and moderators as listed in the program book (or as corrected/specified by panelists themselves before the panel). If you want your name removed, changed, or linked to any online identity (or added if I forgot you) please let me know.

2. I do not name or link to audience members, even if I personally know who they are, because I want to err on the side of safety. Please let me know if you need to be credited for a comment, or wish to be linked to as the person who said the thing.

3. My notes are always incomplete. I take them for myself primarily and love to share what I got, but I absolutely miss stuff and get stuff wrong. Corrections and additions are welcome!

4. If I mess up a pronoun or other important info, please lmk! I will fix it immediately.

5. I add my own thoughts and feels in [] - if you see something in my panel report in [] that means it was not part of the panel, just stuff that happened inside my own head during the panel.

Special disclaimer for panels I was on:

1. I don't take much in the way of notes while I am paneling and I have a crap memory, so these notes will be even less complete than normal.

2. I always appreciate feedback, critique, even criticisms of how you think that panel went and specifically how I can better panel and/or mod in the future - you can do it publicly or privately, whatever you are most comfortable with. I thank you for sharing your thoughts with me!


Women Loving Women on TV

The 100, Arrow, Black Sails, Blindspot, Defiance, Empire, The Fosters, Jessica Jones, How to Get Away with Murder, Lost Girl, Orphan Black, Person of Interest, Pretty Little Liars, The Vampire Diaries, and The Walking Dead are just a few shows that have depicted major female characters as lesbian, bisexual, or otherwise romantically and/or sexually interested in other women in the past year. This trend is exciting, so let's dig in to how these shows are succeeding or failing at representation and what we want to see more of in the coming seasons.
M: E. Cabell Hankinson Gathman. Elizabeth Guzik, Renee I, Rosemary / Sophy(gurl)
#womenlovingwomen for twitter

notes under cutCollapse )
3 comments|post comment

WisCon 40 Panel Write-up Supergirls and Women in TV and Movies [05 Jun 2016|01:53pm]
Panel note disclaimers and clarifications:

1. I only use the names of panelists and moderators as listed in the program book (or as corrected/specified by panelists themselves before the panel). If you want your name removed, changed, or linked to any online identity (or added if I forgot you) please let me know.

2. I do not name or link to audience members, even if I personally know who they are, because I want to err on the side of safety. Please let me know if you need to be credited for a comment, or wish to be linked to as the person who said the thing.

3. My notes are always incomplete. I take them for myself primarily and love to share what I got, but I absolutely miss stuff and get stuff wrong. Corrections and additions are welcome!

4. If I mess up a pronoun or other important info, please lmk! I will fix it immediately.

5. I add my own thoughts and feels in [] - if you see something in my panel report in [] that means it was not part of the panel, just stuff that happened inside my own head during the panel.


Super Girls and Women in TV and Movies

Supergirl. Jessica Jones. And Peggy! The 2015-2016 season brought us three explicitly feminist, female-led superhero shows. They join the women of Flash, Arrow, Legends of Tomorrow, Gotham, Constantine, Daredevil, and Agents of SHIELD. Both Marvel and DC have caught flack for the lack of female protagonists in their films (will we EVER get a Black Widow movie?), but Agents of Shield has given us several women to root for on the small screen, and we'll be getting a Wonder Woman movie soon, so it's not all bad. How are these shows and film series doing with our beloved female heroes? How do they fit in with or challenge the genre? How do they engage with feminist discourse? How do they succeed or fail on topics like race and sexuality? What are our hopes for the future?
M: Joanna Lowenstein. Kris Mayer, Jessica Plummer, David J. Schwartz, Jennifer Margret Smith
#tvsuperwomen for twitter

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WisCon 40 Panel Write-up Is Rey a Mary Sue [04 Jun 2016|03:45pm]
Panel note disclaimers and clarifications:

1. I only use the names of panelists and moderators as listed in the program book (or as corrected/specified by panelists themselves before the panel). If you want your name removed, changed, or linked to any online identity (or added if I forgot you) please let me know.

2. I do not name or link to audience members, even if I personally know who they are, because I want to err on the side of safety. Please let me know if you need to be credited for a comment, or wish to be linked to as the person who said the thing.

3. My notes are always incomplete. I take them for myself primarily and love to share what I got, but I absolutely miss stuff and get stuff wrong. Corrections and additions are welcome!

4. If I mess up a pronoun or other important info, please lmk! I will fix it immediately.

5. I add my own thoughts and feels in [] - if you see something in my panel report in [] that means it was not part of the panel, just stuff that happened inside my own head during the panel.

Is Rey a Mary Sue?
Yes, and it's about damn time. Let it all out. This panel is for catharsis and joy.
M: Anika Dane. Jess Adams, Becky Allen, Renee I, Suzanne Walker

notes under the cutCollapse )
2 comments|post comment

WisCon 40 Panel Write-up There is No Aging Out of Fandom [04 Jun 2016|02:25pm]
Panel note disclaimers and clarifications:

1. I only use the names of panelists and moderators as listed in the program book (or as corrected/specified by panelists themselves before the panel). If you want your name removed, changed, or linked to any online identity (or added if I forgot you) please let me know.

2. I do not name or link to audience members, even if I personally know who they are, because I want to err on the side of safety. Please let me know if you need to be credited for a comment, or wish to be linked to as the person who said the thing.

3. My notes are always incomplete. I take them for myself primarily and love to share what I got, but I absolutely miss stuff and get stuff wrong. Corrections and additions are welcome!

4. If I mess up a pronoun or other important info, please lmk! I will fix it immediately.

5. I add my own thoughts and feels in [] - if you see something in my panel report in [] that means it was not part of the panel, just stuff that happened inside my own head during the panel.

Special disclaimer for panels I was on:

1. I don't take much in the way of notes while I am paneling and I have a crap memory, so these notes will be even less complete than normal.

2. I always appreciate feedback, critique, even criticisms of how you think that panel went and specifically how I can better panel and/or mod in the future - you can do it publicly or privately, whatever you are most comfortable with. I thank you for sharing your thoughts with me!

There Is No Aging Out Of Fandom
Too often we'll encounter the phrase you're so old! Or You're too old to be a fangirl. Fuck that noise, we're not going anywhere because we're not wee kids just dipping our toes into our chosen fandoms. Let's discuss this ridiculous idea like the mature adults we are, along with other aspects of our experience as aging SF writers and fans, and/or such topics as how SF/F has handled aging.
M: Tanya D.. Sigrid Ellis, JP Fairfield, Inda Lauryn, Rosemary / Sophy(gurl)
#agingandfandom for twitter

notes under the cutCollapse )
4 comments|post comment

WisCon 40 Panel Write-up Polyamory Won't Fix Love Triangle [03 Jun 2016|10:04pm]
Panel note disclaimers and clarifications:

1. I only use the names of panelists and moderators as listed in the program book (or as corrected/specified by panelists themselves before the panel). If you want your name removed, changed, or linked to any online identity (or added if I forgot you) please let me know.

2. I do not name or link to audience members, even if I personally know who they are, because I want to err on the side of safety. Please let me know if you need to be credited for a comment, or wish to be linked to as the person who said the thing.

3. My notes are always incomplete. I take them for myself primarily and love to share what I got, but I absolutely miss stuff and get stuff wrong. Corrections and additions are welcome!

4. If I mess up a pronoun or other important info, please lmk! I will fix it immediately.

5. I add my own thoughts and feels in [] - if you see something in my panel report in [] that means it was not part of the panel, just stuff that happened inside my own head during the panel.


Polyamory Won't Fix Your Love Triangle

We all get sick of love triangles in our fiction. We often find ourselves wishing the characters in these triangles, and other assorted shapes, would just go poly and love each other freely. But we also know that poly just doesn't always work like that in reality. Not everyone has the propensity towards polyamory. Sometimes the genders and orientations just don't match up. And very often, some of the characters who are in love with the same person couldn't stand to be in the same room together even before they fell for the same person—much less attempt an honest and intimate relationship together. Are there good dramatic (or comedic) reasons to employ love triangles? What other ways could we attempt to fix them? Do they need fixing? How would making them poly change them?
M: Debbie Notkin. W. L. Bolm, Ariel Franklin-Hudson, David D. Levine
#nomorelovetriangles for twitter

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2 comments|post comment

WisCon 40 Panel Write-up Bi Invisibility [03 Jun 2016|08:31pm]
Panel note disclaimers and clarifications:

1. I only use the names of panelists and moderators as listed in the program book (or as corrected/specified by panelists themselves before the panel). If you want your name removed, changed, or linked to any online identity (or added if I forgot you) please let me know.

2. I do not name or link to audience members, even if I personally know who they are, because I want to err on the side of safety. Please let me know if you need to be credited for a comment, or wish to be linked to as the person who said the thing.

3. My notes are always incomplete. I take them for myself primarily and love to share what I got, but I absolutely miss stuff and get stuff wrong. Corrections and additions are welcome!

4. If I mess up a pronoun or other important info, please lmk! I will fix it immediately.

5. I add my own thoughts and feels in [] - if you see something in my panel report in [] that means it was not part of the panel, just stuff that happened inside my own head during the panel.


Bi Invisibility

People who love and are attracted to people of more than one gender often get left out of the LGBTQ discussion. Our letter is in there, but not our views. "Bi people" often includes those who are gender fluid, non-binary, or pangender as well. Assumptions are made about us based on our gender presentation and current partner. Let's talk about myths, lies, and the truths about bisexuality.
M: Lou Hoffman. Angela Blackwell, W. L. Bolm, Elise Matthesen, also Tanya D. was originally on the panel - had taken herself off due to overbooking herself - but put herself back on when she realized that otherwise the panel was all white. (Thank you Tanya!!)
#biinvisibility for twitter

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8 comments|post comment

Wiscon 40 Panel Write-up Intersectionality and Other Words Taken From Women of Color [03 Jun 2016|06:16pm]
Panel note disclaimers and clarifications:

1. I only use the names of panelists and moderators as listed in the program book (or as corrected/specified by panelists themselves before the panel). If you want your name removed, changed, or linked to any online identity (or added if I forgot you) please let me know.

2. I do not name or link to audience members, even if I personally know who they are, because I want to err on the side of safety. Please let me know if you need to be credited for a comment, or wish to be linked to as the person who said the thing.

3. My notes are always incomplete. I take them for myself primarily and love to share what I got, but I absolutely miss stuff and get stuff wrong. Corrections and additions are welcome!

4. If I mess up a pronoun or other important info, please lmk! I will fix it immediately.

5. I add my own thoughts and feels in [] - if you see something in my panel report in [] that means it was not part of the panel, just stuff that happened inside my own head during the panel.

Intersectionality and Other Words Taken from Women of Color
In conversations about intersectional feminism, we often forget that the term itself was created by Kimberlé Williams Crenshaw, a black woman, for the express purpose of addressing the ways in which sexism and racism work together — specifically against black women in the US legal system. Mainstream (largely white) feminism has a history of minimizing or erasing the contributions of women of color, particularly black women. Flavia Dzodan, Audre Lorde, and Alice Walker are just a few examples. Intersectionality has become an important part of WisCon's feminist identity, but how can we claim to be intersectional if we don't make a point to continually lift up the voices of the feminists and womanists of color who have contributed, and continue to contribute, so much to the movement?
M: Chesya Burke. Mikki Kendall, Amanda Emily Smith - also added Jackie Gross to the panel
#wordstakenfromwoc for twitter

more under the cut tagCollapse )
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WisCon 40 Panel Write-up Female Friendship in Fiction [02 Jun 2016|10:40pm]

Panel note disclaimers and clarifications:


1. I only use the names of panelists and moderators as listed in the program book (or as corrected/specified by panelists themselves before the panel). If you want your name removed, changed, or linked to any online identity (or added if I forgot you) please let me know.

2. I do not name or link to audience members, even if I personally know who they are, because I want to err on the side of safety. Please let me know if you need to be credited for a comment, or wish to be linked to as the person who said the thing.

3. My notes are always incomplete. I take them for myself primarily and love to share what I got, but I absolutely miss stuff and get stuff wrong. Corrections and additions are welcome!

4. If I mess up a pronoun or other important info, please lmk! I will fix it immediately.

5. I add my own thoughts and feels in [] - if you see something in my panel report in [] that means it was not part of the panel, just stuff that happened inside my own head during the panel.

Female Friendship in Fiction
How often do we see women being friends with other women in our fiction? How often do we see it depicted realistically with all of its glories and pitfalls? How often does it pass the Bechdel test? Why are so many female-female relationships seen as frenemies instead of friendships? So many stories, even ones with strong female protagonists, focus more on female-male and male-male relationships than on female-female ones. Let's share some examples of books, movies, TV shows, and more that give us good examples of female friendship—and critique some of the ones that don't.
M: Becky Allen. Jess Adams, Nivair H. Gabriel, Naomi Kritzer, Effie Seiberg
#femalefriendshipfic for twitter

[Finally a panel I was not ON and therefore have some decent notes for! I'm bad at getting all the rec's down, so do check the twitter tag if you want more!]

Notes under the cutCollapse )
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WisCon 40 Panel Write-up Critiquing Bootstraps... [02 Jun 2016|08:51pm]

Panel note disclaimers and clarifications
:

1. I only use the names of panelists and moderators as listed in the program book (or as corrected/specified by panelists themselves before the panel). If you want your name removed, changed, or linked to any online identity (or added if I forgot you) please let me know.

2. I do not name or link to audience members, even if I personally know who they are, because I want to err on the side of safety. Please let me know if you need to be credited for a comment, or wish to be linked to as the person who said the thing.

3. My notes are always incomplete. I take them for myself primarily and love to share what I got, but I absolutely miss stuff and get stuff wrong. Corrections and additions are welcome!

4. If I mess up a pronoun or other important info, please lmk! I will fix it immediately.

5. I add my own thoughts and feels in [] - if you see something in my panel report in [] that means it was not part of the panel, just stuff that happened inside my own head during the panel.


Special disclaimer for panels I was on:


1. I don't take much in the way of notes while I am paneling and I have a crap memory, so these notes will be even less complete than normal.

2. I always appreciate feedback, critique, even criticisms of how you think that panel went and specifically how I can better panel and/or mod in the future - you can do it publicly or privately, whatever you are most comfortable with. I thank you for sharing your thoughts with me!


Critiquing Bootstraps, Positive Thinking, Diet and Exercise
We've all heard the messages: if you're poor, disabled, and/or fat you shouldn't be, you can fix it if you want, and so if you don't you're bad. Let's discuss the intersections of class, disability, and size — and perhaps deconstruct some of the myths surrounding them. (It's okay to be, you can't always change it, and you're not bad!)
M: Rosemary / Sophy(gurl). Gerri Balter, Kate Carey, Sarah Frost
#critiquingbootstraps for twitter

So, it was late, and I'd already done two panels, and there was a noisy Hamilton sing-a-long going on across the hall, and so this panel ended up being very loose and very audience participation heavy and just sort of a fun venting space for folks to discuss the intersections of class, disability, and size.

I DO want to make an apology, as moderator, that I failed at a thing. I failed to note other intersections - specifically race - and their further impacts and affects on these things. It hit me after the panel that I neglected to do that, and I'm sorry for the lack. I think there is specific value in talking about these three things together because they are treated so similarly and the connections that run through them are so interesting, but yea, even a comment about how race further impacts the discrimination faced by poor, disabled, and fat people would have furthered the conversation. I wish I'd done the thing.

That noted - I take even fewer notes when moderating than when paneling, but here goes a few general impressions at least:

- I started off the panel sort of summarizing the description as asking three questions - is it bad do be these things? is it possible to change out of these things? so then can we blame people for being these things?
-- I quickly added that I assumed we could all agree that sometimes it's bad but mostly just because of the way society treats us, people do sometimes move out of these things but that doesn't mean everyone can or that anyone has to, and obviously no we shouldn't be blaming people ugh.
--- So therefore the real questions are about how we can change society's treatment of us, what the difference between moving between these states and "fixing" or "curing" them is, and why people feel the need to moralize about them so much in the first place. I believe a robust discussion evolved from that.

- Sarah told a funny story at the start of the panel about a co-worker who yelled out "it's not worth it!" when she went for what the co-worker saw as an unhealthy snack choice in the break room. This came back to the discussion a few times as a handy example, which did culminate in a hilarious bit about "just being angry enough at the sugar" when we got talking about why people feel so free to comment on our bodies/life choices. The gist being that people are scared of catching the fat, or the chronic illness, or the poverty - so to convince themselves that they won't, they decide that their choices are better. So, if they can just manage not to make the same choices that WE do, they'll be fine. And since these states are seen as a moral pitfall - we should all want to get out of them - and therefore we should also want their advice. Hence, yelling at someone not to eat the sugar will help them to be a better person.

- Another great line was Kate's when discussing the phenomenon of folks taking poor and disabled people to task because they believe they are paying us in the form of taxes giving us benefits. Her response to this was: "why don't you go marshal the troops in Afghanistan then, since your taxes are paying for that too?"

- There was great discussion about the connections between class, disability and size - both as far as links being caused (it's hard to take care of your health when you have no money) and links not being caused (you cannot directly correlate size and health).

- Some good stuff about capitalism being the culprit for discrimination among all 3 groups.

- Lots and lots of cathartic griping about how difficult it is to navigate services for poor and disabled folk, as well as some sharing of helpful tips of how to do so.

- Lots of good cathartic venting about the different ways people perpetuate the myths of bootstrapping, and the equivalents of positive thinking for disabilities and diet and exercise for fatness. For instance - we're all pretty sick of being told to do yoga and eat kale. "Have you tried..." "Let me stop you - yes."

- I ended things asking for ideas how to change things for the better, because I love putting my panelists on the spot in the last 5 minutes by going "okaynowhowdowefixit?" muahahaha. I got, in return, some great stuff about being more understanding of one another and gently correcting loved ones when they say/do hurtful things and I feel like some more resources were thrown out there but I didn't manage to write them down so again - folks who were there - please feel free to add on to this!
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WisCon 40 Panel Write-up Body Positivity and the Disabled Body [02 Jun 2016|06:06pm]
Panel note disclaimers and clarifications:

1. I only use the names of panelists and moderators as listed in the program book (or as corrected/specified by panelists themselves before the panel). If you want your name removed, changed, or linked to any online identity (or added if I forgot you) please let me know.

2. I do not name or link to audience members, even if I personally know who they are, because I want to err on the side of safety. Please let me know if you need to be credited for a comment, or wish to be linked to as the person who said the thing.

3. My notes are always incomplete. I take them for myself primarily and love to share what I got, but I absolutely miss stuff and get stuff wrong. Corrections and additions are welcome!

4. If I mess up a pronoun or other important info, please lmk! I will fix it immediately.

5. I add my own thoughts and feels in [] - if you see something in my panel report in [] that means it was not part of the panel, just stuff that happened inside my own head during the panel.


Special disclaimer for panels I was on:

1. I don't take much in the way of notes while I am paneling and I have a crap memory, so these notes will be even less complete than normal.

2. I always appreciate feedback, critique, even criticisms of how you think that panel went and specifically how I can better panel and/or mod in the future - you can do it publicly or privately, whatever you are most comfortable with. I thank you for sharing your thoughts with me!

Body Positivity and the Disabled Body
Body acceptance and positivity movements contain some very worthy goals. However, living in a disabled body can make those goals more complex and confusing. Physical symptoms of pain and fatigue can make anyone feel negative about their body sometimes. Some conditions cause drastic and unwelcome changes to the body — making acceptance more difficult. And many disabilities require excessive focus on the bodily condition due to constant treatments, accommodations, and sensations. How do we, as disabled people, engage with body acceptance and positivity movements? What insights do we bring to the table? How can our voices in these movements create positive changes for everyone striving to accept and love their bodies?
M: Elizabeth Roy. Kate Carey, Claire Light, Rosemary / Sophy(gurl)
#bodypositivitydisability for twitter

- Our moderator Elizabeth had a kind of cool intro where she acknowledged having a conversation about disability in an abelist world and advised the audience that it's okay if they have to get up and leave, lay down on the floor, pace, or whatever makes them more comfortable. She also defined some terms and attributed this all to disability activist Lydia Brown. (if anyone took more specific notes - please share!)

- One thing we talked about was skin hunger, with Kate especially discussing how using her scooter seems to cause a physical barrier to touch - people are less likely to hug her, for example. This is a legit concern for people with lots of disabilities - we literally need physical touch. See studies about skin hunger.

- Johanna Hedva's Sick Woman Theory was brought up, especially in regards to intersections of disability and gender and race.

- Also brought up is the book The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma with the note that it is "trigger city" because it delves into trauma and it's affects on the body.

- Some discussion about how body positivity campaigns often focus on how a body looks, when what disabled people need is often more positivity about how our bodies feel.

- I talked specifically about the feeling of failing at body positivity when I'm feeling negative about my body and it's symptoms and limitations.

- We got into ideas of curing vs. accepting our bodies as-is and how that's a different kind of positivity, but also how it can be difficult to do a lot of the self-care involved in body acceptance when disabled.

- Claire talked about the Western Cartesian ideas about the mind/body split and about how she finds it important to think of her body as part of herself, not something separate.
-- I countered that while, yes, that makes lots of sense, for me personally I find dissociating from my body when it's in pain to be helpful and that it helps me to take better care of my physical self if I separate it out because very often my physical and mental needs are at odds with one another. For example, coming to WisCon means not taking very good care of my body, but it's essential for my emotional and mental well being. [I thought about this later when taking my body to the hot tub in lieu of doing another panel - like "okay body I'm doing this for you, if you do this other thing for me" - the kind of thought processes that help me to live with my limitations]

- Elizabeth brought up the difference between that kind of dissociation and dissociation due to trauma, and I agreed that doing it purposefully because of pain vs. it happening to me because of PTSD triggers is a totally different kind of sensation.

- Claire had a lot of wonderful things to add about being disabled and a woman of color, specifically with being a woman of color who sometimes "passes" as white and with having invisible disabilities and how those identities can affect one another.

- Kate had some super interesting things to add from the perspective of someone who is dying.

- And, oh gosh, my memory is failing me but it was a great conversation that the audience added a bunch to as well, so I hope some folks will add to this thanks!!
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